I Heart New York No. 2 - The Stroller

J Edward — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:20:44 -0500

As a part of my confession of my undying love for la grande Ville de New York, I must relate the perennial tedium with slow moving proplr in the city. My sister and I have developed the following philosophy: When walking in New York City, please move like you Phuckin' have somewhere to go! Honestly! I am almost never able to take a leisurely walk through the city and even when I am able to, my friends are always telling me I move far too fast. Honey, I don't move too fast, you move too slow.

More after the jump!

I Heart New York No.1 - The Voice

J Edward — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:04:46 -0500

Welcome to my collection of rants in dedication to my beloved city of New York.

Let's begin with the bane of my existence: the subway. Namely the broken PA systems and soft spoken operators. How many times have we missed a stop or were conveniently unaware that our train was out of service or delayed because the "voice" sounds like it's coming from the beyond. Even on the rare occasion that the loudspeaker is not spasmodic, there is always the person speaking who sounds like Micheal Jackson caught laryngitis. Now that the new trains feature those wonderfully buggy automated voices, I find myself wishing for them when an old train pulls in. They're clear and concise and completely devoid of any kind of accent. In other words, if you missed your stop, it your own damn fault because you had your headphones on too loud.

Perhaps this will be adjusted sometime after Ricky Martin comes out of the closet.

Phierce Pholks

I Heart New York No. 2 - The Stroller

I Heart New York No.1 - The Voice