The life and style blog from a simply Phabulous individual in the world's Phiercest City!

Introspection - Finding Clarity

By J Edward · June 5, 2009 · 0 Comments · 38 Views

Have you ever listened to a song and your present environment or action just aligns so perfectly with the melodies and lyrics? As though, for a brief moment, someone from another world could have been watching you?

Traveling between Manhattan and Brooklyn on the 'N' train is a highlight of my commute experience. It's a beautiful moment when the train trudges up the incline into the outside world on its route over the Manhattan Bridge and, for just a few moments, you have the most spectacular view of the Manhattan and Brooklyn skyline with the Brooklyn Bridge stretching across the river. There is a certain magic about it when you see it at night, like looking at a living picture of a galaxy.

On my way home today, Beyoncé Knowles filled my eardrums as electronic pulses streamed from my Zune to my tiny black earbuds. That's Why You're Beautiful was the song that shuffle mode rendered next in my playlist as the train pulled itself over the bridge. The first two lines of lyrics took on a new life and brought so much more out of the entire song for me.

Diamonds used to be coal,
Look young, 'cause they got soul.
That's why they're beautiful.

Today was a peculiar day, but a beautiful one nonetheless. After a meeting, I finally got the chance to spend much needed time with someone whose friendship I've come to value beyond words(The Manager). It's been a while since I last got to see him, but just speaking to him helps me to put things in perspective and challenges me to take steps forward. We got to talking about my previous post, as it's an experience that we both are sharing.

We took time to analyze the things that we need to accomplish and the things we would like to have and wrote them out. We are aware that there is so much that God has in store for us, but it's up to us to reach out and take hold of it. The challenge of course is having the courage to step out and reach for it.

On the train ride home, I saw the position I am in at the present, and things look meager and are getting increasingly difficult. Then the rich bass chords reverberated in my skull followed by Beyoncé's voice and I have remembered to appreciate the times like this that help to define who we are and shall become.

Diamonds are an incredible natural phenomenon. Formed under unimaginable pressure from coal, a softer substance, they are the hardest substance known to mankind and yet beautiful. At this point in my life, the pressure is building continuously, solidifying the deepest and brightest parts of my character. I am approaching the time to be harvested and then new work begins.

If you've ever seen a diamond before it is cut, you'd know it's not much to behold. It's only after it has been cleaved and cut that you can see the result on the second floor at Tiffany & Co. on Fifth Avenue. In the sense of the Proverb "iron sharpens iron", it is only possible for a diamond to be cut by another diamond. It is a long and arduous process, but the result is clarity that is majestic to behold.

I do not know precisely what others see in me and I don't know how grand God's plans are for my life, but I know they are great. Now is the time that I am being prepared to meet those who will be a part of the process of shaping my destiny according to my purpose as I do the same for them.

...That's why you're beautiful...

Introspection - At a Loss

By J Edward · June 3, 2009 · 0 Comments · 17 Views

Natasha Richardson as Sally Bowles I find it funny that at the times that I have everything and the world to talk about, I don't sit myself down to write about it. It's at these times when I can't make any kind of sense out of what's going on inside of my head that I can't help but sit down and write. No particular direction to move in, no specific train of thought, just a need to express in some way shape or form. An expression that is sincere and truthful, but where is it coming from?

It is a frustrating experience, being one with an over active and detailed imagination. No way to focus my thoughts or energy, I just need to create. I am sitting, here at my computer desk accompanied by a cup of tea that will probably result in keeping me awake longer than I should be.

Why is it such a challenge for me to have a direct connection with what I am feeling? In this moment? Am I afraid of being confronted with truth or of being vulnerable?

I'm lost.

Lost is the about the only word that comes to mind and I feel a tremendous grief welling up right now.  I don't know why. Part of me wants to apologize for complaining, but why should I?

I've identified that there is clearly something not right as this moment, but I feel stuck. Frozen is more appropriate.

Anger also seems to have it's part to play. Reading over what I've written so far, rage is building up little by little.

No.


At the root of it all, I am feeling hopeless. Beneath my usual bright demeanor and voiced optimism, I feel hopeless. But why? Why do I feel as though I have nothing going for me, when I know in my mind that I have so much? Why is it difficult for me to believe that I have power when I sense that I have great power?

Sure I've come to identify incidents and patterns from my upbringing that have influenced how I perceive myself. But where does that leave me? How do I move from here?

Moments like this made me wish that I dreamed more at night. From the time I started Junior High School up until February of this year, I cannot remember having a single dream. Since February, my dreams are few and far apart, occurring maybe once or twice in a month.

What is odd is that I am a person with great ambitions who knows they have the potential to excel beyond any one person's reckoning. Yet, I feel like the smallest person on the face of the Earth. Insignificant.

To many I seem very self-certain and to others, I come across as arrogant. Am I really? Or am I trying to find some kind of means to validate myself?

This video is Natasha Richardson's brilliant performance as Sally Bowles in the 1998 revival of Cabaret, for which she won a Tony Award as a part of her distinguished career that was unfortunately cut short as she passed away as a result of an accident. Listen to the song and watch as she nails every emotion, particularly after the song and you'll be able to put a face to how I'm feeling at this moment.

Introspection - Being Ill

By J Edward · May 10, 2009 · 0 Comments · 37 Views

It's my belief that everything we experience is for a purpose and shapes who we are in this moment and the next. Whether the result is positive or negative is completely up to the individual. With a case of acute Bronchitis that developed into an awful sinus infection, I had a packed schedule and pushed myself to honor my commitments. It became one of the most valuable learning experiences I could've asked for.

What I Did For Love from A Chorus Line is playing. How appropriate!

I won't go on to gloat about all that I managed to accomplish. I'm quite sure it would look like chump change in comparison to many others out there. However, I was determined to transform being festooned with viral plague into a performing bootcamp. Let's face it, when you have a gig, you do what you have to do to show up, at least if you're not in your death bed. The folks in charge may decide it's best for you not to go on, but you showed up! Ready to give them 100%. It shows you and the rest of the world just what you're made of.

More after the jump!

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The Muses - Patina Miller

By J Edward · May 4, 2009 · 0 Comments · 62 Views

573_124634.jpgIt's a rainy Monday afternoon here in Brooklyn and Phierce Pholks is ready for action! It's good to be back and I mean that beyond the blog. It has been an incredible time for me since I've taken time off. Like I said in my previous post, I will be reshaping Phierce Pholks to be about life as I expierence it while sharing the things I love. I believe we all have stories to tell and by sharing those stories, we help shape each other's lives.

Before, each Monday, I would try to deliver what I called the "Monday Muse". I've decided to remove the Monday bit and simply call them "The Muses". These are the people in the public eye who inspire me and that I hope will inspire you! With that said, I'd like to introduce you all to the newest Muse of Phierce Pholks: Patina Miller!

Patina Miller is most popular in musical theatre circles, although many of you soap opera fans will probably recognize her as well. I was first introduced to her talent on YouTube by one of my greatest friends who I call "The Manager" (seriously, he practically is!). She gained popularity by means of a song written for her, titled "Random Black Girl", by an incredibly talented pair of musical theater composers: Michael Kooman and Christopher Dimond. I was almost literally floored when I first saw this girl! Girl can sang and she's brilliantly funny.

Watch this girl wail after the jump!

Let's Get Back on Track!

By J Edward · February 22, 2009 · 0 Comments · 57 Views

The 62nd Annual Tony Awards - Show

NEW YORK - JUNE 15: Singer/actress Patti LuPone performs onstage during the 62nd Annual Tony Awards held at Radio City Music Hall on June 15, 2008 in...

Hello beautiful people! I know y'all have missed me, don't lie! This hiatus has taken far longer than I intended and I still have yet to find work.

Over the past couple of months, however, I made a very special discovery: I lost touch with who I am and what really makes me tick. Having comes to terms with this, I've had to rediscover my true passions and long gone ambitions(I'll explain what sparked all this in due time).

More after the jump!

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On Hold

By J Edward · December 8, 2008 · 0 Comments · 31 Views

Unemployed Banker And MIT Graduate Peddles On The Street For Job

NEW YORK - JUNE 24: Joshua Persky, an unemployed financial engineer, stands in front of the Charles Schwab building at 50th Street and Park Avenue with...

Hey Pholks!

Due to some rather unfortunate circumstances (unemployment mainly), I'm going to have to hold off on my blogging at least for this week while I focus on finding work and getting my priorities straightened out. I've got lots of new ideas in the works and I can't wait until I can really make the time to give Phierce Pholks my all, but bills have to come first!

Love you all!

Stay Phabulous!

Jojo

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Under the inPhluence - Alexis Marcou

By J Edward · December 5, 2008 · 1 Comment · 52 Views

This week I have selected this piece by Alexis Marcou, an Illustrator. He created a variety of illustrations to accompany his typeface called "fuel". I chose this one for it's simplicity and strength. You can see the additional works and the typeface on Behance.net.

More about this week's inPhluence after the jump!

Monday Muse - Jourdan Dunn

By J Edward · December 1, 2008 · 3 Comments · 123 Views

With all the buzz in the Fashion World about the 2008 British Fashion Awards, I've selected this year's Model of the Year, Jourdan Dunn. Discovered in Primark while out shopping with a friend in 2006, Jourdan was practically an overnight success. Upon her debut, she walked for Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren and, in February of 2008, she was the first black model to walk for Prada since Naomi Cambell. That was ten years ago!

More on Jourdan after the jump!

Phriday Phace - Dmitry Bocharov

By J Edward · November 28, 2008 · 0 Comments · 24 Views

Flickrista has easily become one of my favorite web sites ever. I love Flickr, but I find I rarely have time (or patience) to search through the vast number of photographs at my leisure, especially to find fashion photography. Flickrista does the job for me and my desire is satiated!

More after the jump!

Under the inPhluence - Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

By J Edward · November 27, 2008 · 4 Comments · 68 Views

Let me begin by giving a big thanks to my Twitter Pholks for helping this come together! Welcome all to Under the inPhluence, my homage to my shared passion of fashion and graphic design. From here on out, at least once a week, I will be presenting my Phavorite works from the realm of graphic design and looks inspired by those works!

This week, I begin with the legendary artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, famously portrayed by John Leguizamo in Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge. This is one of my favorite historic poster designs part of the movement of Art Nouveau in European artwork. Art Nouveau is a style heavily influenced by classic Japanese painting techniques. Printed in 1893 for the cabaret Divan Japonais, this poster depicts Jane Avril and Edouard Dujardin watching famous singer, Yvette Guilbert, recognizable by her black gloves.

More after the jump!